Opposites Attract
by DimiGex
Summary: Kakashi learns that silent alarms and Anko's adventurousness are never a good combination.


**Rating:** T

 **Words:** 2,000

 **Pairing:** Tenzo/Anko

 **Warnings/Summary:** Anko shenanigans (I swear she's worse than Genma), improper use of the Hokage office, desk, cloak, and hat, much flirting, traumatized Kakashi

 **Author's Note:** I should probably say I'm sorry for making another crack ship, but I'm not really. There is actually a story for how this whole thing came about but it's not completely done yet. Cinlat encouraged me to write this drabble piece about it once the idea came up. So here it is, hope it lives up to the expectations!

* * *

Kakashi jerked awake, alarm bells ringing in the back of his mind. Darkness bathed his bedroom, and for a moment the disorientation kept him still. Then, remembering what woke him, he pushed to his feet and dragged on a shirt, mask, and pants. Someone had tripped the protective seals in his office. There was no good reason for anyone to be there this time of night.

After gathering his armor and weapons, Kakashi shunshined out of his apartment. He didn't go directly to the office; rather, he picked a spot in the hallway and paused there in case the intruder could sense chakra. Feeling no reaction to his presence, the man padded silently across the floor. The heavy door muffled most sound, but Kakashi leaned close, straining to hear anything. At first, only silence greeted him. Then, a moan reached his ears.

Eyebrows raising at the unexpected sound, Kakashi stood to his full height. Occasionally, some of the younger shinobi got the idea that breaking into the Hokage's office would show their bravado, daring, or some other senseless trait. More often than not, it ended in disciplinary action. Relationships weren't exactly prohibited, but they were frowned upon until the genin and chunin showed some basic common sense. Kakashi highly doubted that anyone foolish enough to break into the Hokage's office for sex was thinking clearly.

Steeling himself against the lecture he'd have to give, Kakashi pushed the door open with enough force that it bounced off the opposite wall. The form on his desk separated into two as the shinobi leapt apart, one flushing crimson while the other reached for a weapon.

"You should know bett-" The words died on Kakashi's lips as his brain finally caught up with his eyes. He looked dumbly at the woman sitting on his desk, then the man standing beside it in absolute shock. Once his mind began functioning again, Kakashi spun away from the pair, but he'd already seen far more than he wanted to. "I-you-" he paused, drawing a breath, "what the hell? What are you doing in my office?"

"Well you see," the woman began, voice ringing with laughter. "When a man and woman like each other very much-"

"What the hell," Kakashi repeated as he turned back around. Mitarashi Anko had managed to pull the Hokage robe around her body, sheathing it from chest to knees, for which he was thankful. More shocking than finding Anko in his office, however, was the man beside her. "I could have expected this from Genma, but not you," Kakashi sputtered, disbelief coloring his words.

Tenzo's face flamed in the moonlight as he moved the Hokage's hat to cover himself. "I can explain."

* * *

 _One Hour Earlier_

" _I'm bored," Anko complained, drumming her fingers against the table, between the empty glasses of alcohol. Tenzo stared at her from the opposite side, a slight smile curling his lips. He caught Anko's wrist half a second before she realized the look in his eye. Tugging lightly, Tenzo stood and drew her close. The look of heated surprise in her eyes flooded his chest with longing as he met their lips together. Alcohol flavored the embrace._

" _I could think of a few things to occupy your time," Tenzo chuckled, pulling Anko more firmly into him._

 _Anko gave him a cheeky grin and pushed her hands on his shoulders, making him take a step backward. "It's cute that you think it would be that easy." Her fingers trailed dangerously down his stomach, curling against the button of his pants._

" _It usually is," Tenzo laughed._

 _With another curving smile, Anko appraised him. "Let's make a game out of it. You've got some tracking skills from your Anbu days. Find me, and I'll reward you. Don't, and you'll have to see how your hand measures up."_

" _That isn't even-" Tenzo realized he was speaking to an empty room, Anko had already disappeared. Growling under his breath, the man shook his head, then finished his glass of sake. He needed something strong to get him through this._

 _Tenzo struck out at Anko's apartment, but that hardly surprised him. She would never make a chase that easy. Peeking into the Rusted Kunai bar revealed no one of interest either, though Raido perked up at seeing him. It took Tenzo nearly fifteen minutes to beg off to continue his search. Not being a sensor made things more difficult, because he couldn't simply look for Anko's chakra signature. Instead, he was forced to rely on his own wit, a dangerous thing._

 _Anko's most familiar haunt was the dango stand in town, though surely, they were closed at this time of night. Tenzo glanced around the shadowed area before his eyes found her perched on the roof, body carefully disguised by the overhang from the neighboring building. Leaping upward to join her, Tenzo smirked. "Well, that wasn't so hard."_

" _It took you longer than I thought," Anko teased, then leaned in to kiss him. As ever, the touch temporarily halted the breath in Tenzo's lungs._

 _The pressure disappeared suddenly and Tenzo fell forward. One hand reached desperately, catching the edge of the roof to keep from slamming into the ground. The momentum swung his body into the building, knocking the air from his lungs. The puff of smoke from Anko's shadow clone dissipated in the evening breeze._

" _Damn tease," Tenzo complained, allowing his body to drop smoothly to the ground. A sharp ache spidered away from the band of flesh where he'd hit the edge of the roof, but it wasn't enough to stop him. Now that he knew the game, it was simply a matter of elimination._

 _The next shadow clone waited in the alley where Anko had first shoved him against the wall to kiss him after a month-long mission together. Tenzo's head spun a second time, desperate for air when the clone repeated the desperate kiss. This time, a warm tongue pushed between his lips, dragging Tenzo toward oblivion. An expletive left his lips half a second after the clone did._

 _Anko had picked locations that were familiar to both of them in some way, so logically, the trend would continue. Tenzo prowled silently through the streets, looking for any sign of his playful lover. The academy stood in the distance, windows darkened and halls completely silent for once. Springs for the roof, Tenzo found his quarry by the water tanks. Moonlight caught Anko's purple hair, lightening it significantly and lending her curves a soft outline._

" _I'm done playing games," Tenzo husked, fitting the warm body against his._

 _Anko offered her angelic smile, which almost certainly meant she had something devilish in mind. "Are you?" The purr rattled against Tenzo's chest as the woman pushed him onto the seat she'd just vacated. Knees came to rest on either side of his hips as she lowered onto his lap. "I thought you liked playing with me."_

 _Tenzo closed his arms around her lithe form. "That's not the same thing at all."_

 _Anko wore a shirt with a V-neck slit that dipped dangerously low, exposing the pale flesh of her breasts as they strained against the fabric. Tenzo dipped his head down, brushing his lips against the skin. Humming, Anko rolled her hips against his as encouragement. It worked. Flicking his tongue between them produced a sweeter sound, then a soft chuckle. "Don't hate me, just one left." Then, Tenzo's arms were empty._

 _Cursing fluently, a habit he'd picked up from Anko, Tenzo looked around the roof for a moment. Anko had become an instructor at the Academy, so it was natural that this would be one of the places that she'd lead him. Though, this was fantasy on her part. They'd never shared more than a heated, rushed kiss here. Of course, that had been enough to leave them tearing off clothes the moment she got to his apartment later that evening. They'd ventured into the realm of fantasy now._

 _Tenzo ran through the memories quickly, trying to find the last piece to the puzzle. They'd talked about the academy and places far beyond the reach of Konoha. Unless..._

" _Oh Kami," Tenzo breathed. "Please don't be that stupid." His feet led him toward the Hokage's office. Anko had mentioned wondering how many times the desk had become a bed in the heat of the moment, and it was just dangerous enough to tempt her._

 _Prowling through the silent building, Tenzo stopped outside the door the led to Kakashi's office. It was locked, as he'd expected, but a little bit of work with his mouton had it swinging inward silently. For a moment, the moonlight through the wall of windows made him blink stupidly. Then, Anko did. The woman reclined on the desk, elbows supporting her body as she watched the door. Anko's clothing was piled haphazardly on the floor, and she wore nothing except the Hokage's hat._

" _This is such a bad idea," Tenzo murmured, crossing the room on silent feet. "What if you'd tripped an alarm or something."_

" _There weren't any," Anko pouted. "I waited until you were done with my last shadow clone before coming in. If there were alarms, I'd have heard them."_

 _The woman on the desk stretched, and Tenzo licked his lips nervously. "But we shouldn't. We really shouldn't. What if Kakashi finds out?"_

" _Oh come on," Anko sat up in a decidedly distracting manner. "Haven't you ever thought about doing it here? You've stood guard often enough."_

 _Tenzo made the mistake of straying closer to the desk. He didn't need the glint in Anko's eyes to tell him he was in trouble. The woman dropped the hat on his head. "You've thought about it, haven't you, Tenzo-sama?" Anko's voice purred his name with unfamiliar title, making his breath hitch._

 _Anko caught Tenzo's shirt, dragging it free from his pants as she circled him with hands and legs. "You've thought about being Hokage," she guided him closer, removing the hat long enough to pull off the shirt beneath. "You'd like to take me on this desk." The woman leaned in, flicking her tongue against Tenzo's ear in a way that made him shudder._

" _You like the danger, the risk of being caught," Anko continued in that soft purr that made Tenzo forget how to think logically. He pushed against her, crushing their lips together as her fingers rushed to pull off the rest of Tenzo's clothes._

 _Kicking off his shoes, Tenzo closed his arms around Anko's back and pushed her onto the desk. "Say it again," he commanded softly, catching her collarbone with his teeth._

 _Anko obediently arched against Tenzo's body as he crawled onto the desk. "I want you, Hokage-sama."_

* * *

Tenzo shifted to his opposite foot, face flushing deeper as he pushed the memory away. "Then, one thing kind of led to another and-"

Kakashi held up one hand. "I can see where it led, thank you."

"Come on, Kakashi," Anko laughed, clutching the Hokage cloak closer to her chest. "You can play too."

Tenzo's entire face crimsoned at the insinuation as he turned toward Anko who laughed at his expression. "We _were_ working on being more adventurous, and a threesome is an excellent-"

"Burn the cloak and the hat," Kakashi interrupted, pink tinting his own cheeks. "Have new ones made. And Tenzo, remake the desk, identical to the First Hokage's so no one can tell the difference. Then burn that too. And for Kami's sake, put some clothes on."

The door had barely shut behind the disgruntled Hokage before Anko burst into laughter and grinned at Tenzo. "We could just take the desk home," she teased, pulling him into a kiss.

Groaning, Tenzo shook his head. "You're going to be the death of me, one day," he complained against her plush lips.

"Yeah," Anko agreed cheerfully. "But, what a way to go."


End file.
